passed away Monday morning. We knew that it was coming, that it was only a matter of time. She hadn't been doing well for the past few months and had been steadily declining during the past couple of weeks. My uncle and aunt (who were staying with her and taking care of her) and my mom made the decision to call in hospice. On Saturday, she was coherent for part of the day, but by Sunday morning, she had slipped into a coma-like state. She hadn't been eating or drinking much since before Easter.
You know, even when you expect it, it's hard to let go. I didn't see her during the past month or so, so I never saw how bad she had gotten. Keira and I stopped by on Friday afternoon to say hi, because my mom was there visiting. Grandma was in her room in bed, but I didn't even go in to see her. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess I feel a bit guilty. I could've been a better granddaughter. I remember lots of good things about her when I was younger. She could be really funny. I keep thinking that I should've called more or stopped by to visit more often. Now that I'm a mom, and my mom is a Grandma, it hits me harder than I think it would have before. I want Keira to be a better granddaughter to my mom and to Roxana than I was to my grandma. Of course, it's easy when you're a kid. You sort of have to do what your parents want you to do. It's when you get older that it becomes a bit tougher, with school, work, family, friends, etc.
Ahhh, life. What a strange thing.
2 comments:
Try not to beat yourself up. It's probably better that your last image of your grandma isn't of her in pain, but a good memory.
Let me know if there's anything that I can ever do for you.
Thank you, sweetie. I needed that!
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